This list of humourous quotes spoken on SB was compiled by Svetlana, a viewer in Russia.

Mason (at the clinic after his fight with Dylan): There were a whole band! They all are boxers, very professional. And they bothered Kelly. Of course, they all are dead bodies now...
(five minutes later)
Mary: Mason, there is one of your dead bodies over there... And there isn't a single scratch on him!

Santana: Mason, what a piece of luck you are here!
Mason: Santana?
Santana: Mason, I want to marry you!
Mason: Where am I? In Paradise or in a mental hospital?

(at a morgue)
Cruz: Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up!
Pearl: You forgot to kiss me!
Cruz: I love you, but not so much!

Keith: It's unbelievable! Apostle Mason! I've seen your interview.
Mason: Hello, Keith. I'm glad you didn't take offence.

(Gina showed Keith the wedding picture of herself and C.C.. The telephone rings. Keith takes up the receiver) Keith: Gina's gallery!

Pearl: Sophia, I love you too! I love this world, this house, this phone!

Keith: I have a good job,a wonderful secretary...Cruz will soon be drowned! What else could I wish?!

Julia: Oh, Lionel! I'd like to be a stupid blonde!

Keith: You wanted to hit the District Attorney?!

C.C.(to Sophia and Gina):I love you, and I don't love you!

Victoria: Why do you care of Cruz?
Pearl: Cruz is my friend. And I love him. And I love Eden. And I love you!

Gina: Did you sleep alone?
Keith: No, I slept with somebody soft and fluffy. It was my cat.

Keith: Do you know the family called "The Capwells"? They are in trouble again!
Gina: What kind of?
Keith: Murder, darling!

Gina: You think you are more important than anybody else! More important than God!
C.C.: Well, God is my equal...

-What about your sins, my son?
Keith: But I have none of them!

(at Keith's wedding Keith comes up to Cruz and holds him): -Cruz, you and I are two married men...

Julia: If you bring together a snake and a hedgehog you'll get a meter of barbed wire!

Brandon: I'd like to have a dog who would love me and never bark!

(Cruz and Eden are going to Mason and Julia's wedding and don't want to leave Adriana)
Eden: Maybe her first tooth will appear?
Cruz: And she'll get ill with her first caries?! You are right, we are staying!

Sophia (shutting Gina in the wardrobe): Sometime she'll be found...By archaeologists!

Mason(to Julia): Do you want to be the wife of the D.A.?
(Ethan enters): Thank you! I'm married!